Jan 28, 2011
LOVERS FOREVERhello (: i'm back again. these few weeks,i'm not in good mood. because i find that my relationship with baby is getting further. so i'm upset. plus he's been treating me very cold. i'm scare. hais. today,his"jie" sms him,i went to check lo cause he's not at home. den i read both of their conversation... i was so upset. my heart was like being pierce by him for the third time. the feeling is like so confusing till i kept crying even when he's home. he asked me why,grabbing my hands not letting me go.. i doesnt know how to ask him,i just kept quiet.. until he kept pester me till i raise my voice asking him. i never look at him.. i tried to push him away,but he kept grabbing me. and hold my chin asking me to look at him.. he explained everything to me.. i cool down.. listening..he told me,he never want to go out with his "jie".. their relationship are just nothing much.. he said,he rejected my movie request is because he didnt have enough money for us.. because i'm his gf,he doesnt want to spend my money..and his "jie" told him saying that she's gonna treat him to movie,so he was thinking about it.. i was so fed up, THEY TWO GOING ALONE ! how u expect me to LET THEM GO?! so wad if she is my bf "jie"?? so wad if she knows he have gf?? HOW COULD I LET?? but in the end,baby never.. he asked me to sms his"jie" telling her that he's not free this sunday..so,i did..honestly saying,this is the first time... first time,crying so madly in front of him... usually is just tearing. but today is madly crying.. today gotten my pay,treat baby and his bro eat fish and chip. actually wanna order mac de,but dunno why today the online order have some error. -.-" i dunno.. but.. i told myself ever since i gave him the second chance..
IF HE EVER EVER EVER LIE OR BETRAY ME,I WILL END EVERYTHING EVEN IF I DONT WANT TO. EVEN IF MY HEART HURTS LIKE HELL..because,my heart cant take anymore pain,cant stand any more hurts from him..how much i love him,everyone sees & hears,they know..including himself..
on 1 feb to 6 feb,he's going to malaysia with his family and his cousin,mingfeng for holiday at relatives house. i'm scare and worry,but he told him that nothing will happened de..between he and other gals. NOTHING ! should i believe?? regarding today about he and his"jie" & the malaysia thingy?? because i find that he's been lying to me? keeping stuff from me,till i feel so uncomfortable..that sometimes i cant help but to suspect him,which i dont want !
NO ! I MUST TRUST HIM. UNLESS....UNLESS HE REALLY DID SOMETHING WHICH I CANT ACCEPT ANYMORE...
anyway,no more working. lol. finding another job. and school starting on 21 feb,cause studying private school. o level no good lo,so need to spend more money.. hais. planning to study in the morning..which is better (:
hopes he dun get so tired and have more time with me..
i asked him to either sat or sun come find me,he said sun.
i'm so happy..
but the feeling now is,scare,worried,happy,sad. all these feelings mixed up together make me so uncomfortable..
iwillmissyou,baby.
.: I.NEED.YOU.BECAUSE.I.LOVE.YOU :.
♥ signing off
10:32:00 PM
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10:32:00 PM
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